Many a relationship has become familiar to the point of routine. That's a recipe for trouble somewhere down the road.
On an episode of Leave It Beaver (yes really) the following exchange took place between June and Ward Cleaver:
June: How come you don't bring me flowers anymore?
Ward: Dear, that's like running for the bus after you already caught it.
Ouch. Needless to say this answer did not thrill June. Unfortunately many men understand all to well where Ward is coming from and agree with him one hundred percent. This doesn't just apply to married couples or even a fictitious married couple. Many a dating relationship has become familiar to the point of routine. To many women this represents a form of arrogance. It is like saying, "I got you now so why should I exert anymore effort?" That's a recipe for trouble somewhere down the road.
You don't have to go overboard either by taking her to a fancy restaurant every other day or going on vacations that you cannot afford. Mind you those things help but with women, it is sometimes the little things that mean the most. Little things like:
1. Listening
The lack of communication can be very frustrating to women but not listening can really get their dander up. Many of us have been accused of concentrating more on whatever was on television than our wives and girlfriends. To a large degree it's true. Most women like to talk about personal matters that have a direct bearing on their lives, their family or friends. What's on TV at that time is irrelevant. Show that you appreciate her by listening. Don't just wait for her to start talking. Initiate the conversation sometimes, and then listen carefully not only to what she says but her body language as well. This is not a one shot deal. Listening to her on a steady basis can only help your relationship.
2. The Small Occasion Celebration
We've all seen the shows where the woman gets upset because the husband forgets their anniversary or birthday. That quite honestly should never happen. However for a lot of women, there are many smaller occasions that mean just as much; for instance the anniversary of your first date or the day both of you bought something together. Being able to surprise your lady with little things that you know mean something to her (something she probably figured you took no notice of) can be a major relationship booster. If you have to "cheat" a little bit then get your own personal journal to keep track of these things.
3. Get to Know her People
Women value their relationships. While many men are of the take it or leave it mentality, it is very important to most women that you get to know her family and friends. These are people who make up a special part of her life and by taking the energy and effort to genuinely get to know them, you are showing her how much you love and care for her. They maybe coming from a perspective that you are not crazy about but hang in there. Be open minded and respectful. The chances are that somewhere down the line you will want her to meet your people. Extend the same courtesies to her family and friends that you would expect from her if the situations were reversed.
It's easy to get stuck in a routine and set in our ways. But it's most important to continually show the lady of your life that you love her. Again it doesn't take extravagance. Get to know her people, be mindful of the small big occasions and above all listen. Doing these three things is planting the seeds of long term healthy relationship.
Daryl Campbell invites you to get more relationship and dating tips, tools, resources, videos and up to the minute dating news and information at The Dating Tip
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